EXTRA-MARITAL AFFAIR
The Extra-Marital Affair is one of the most common problems in our fast changing world. So-called "Best Friend" a spouse getting involved with can be a neighbour, colleague, a domestic helper, or even a close relative.
Most men and women are now having affair not because they are in love. Women who have an affair might just be for friendship. The affair might just give her the opportunity to find out more about her sexuality. Similarly, men are also having an Extra-Marital Affair which may or may not be for sex. The relationship can be intermittent, short term or long term.
Sexual capers can happen in the office, car, hotel rooms, parks, seaside, carparks, over a game of mahjong, poker or anywhere. However home and place of work is the main source these days. In our opinion, client should look out for close friends or colleaguesof their spouses as the potential partners for the extra-marital flings, because of the perceived safety and availability.
The AIDS scare is another factor that has made spouses feel safer to have an affair with someone they know, rather than to look for prostitutes to satisfy their sexual desires. If an affair is exposed, people will usually give a second thought to the marriage and the children and, with patience, they try to get over it.
Through years of experience, we have gathered data and information that there are few stages a spouse would usually go through when having an Extra-Marital Affair (EMA).
FIRST STAGE
He may want to have the best of both worlds. Usually, once confronted he would deny completely of having an affair. However if he admits, he would request his spouse to give him time to come back to his normal self. This may not be true because he may be "buying time". He or she may even lie to the spouse that the relationship is broken but continue with the affair on the quiet. The poor wife usually builds high hopes and consoles herself that the man whom she loves would return to her soon.
SECOND STAGE
This is the stage where the spouse contacts the third party almost everyday or every other day. He/She stays out late at night and even spend nights out, neglects the family's interest and problems, more quarrels between spouses, and more lies are told to convince the spouse.
THIRD STAGE
At this stage the spouse stays away from family for longer periods. Stops paying monthly allowances for the family. Builds hatred and vengeance against the spouse. Refuses to give maintenance and pay utility bills.
FINAL STAGE
Leaves home permanently with or without any trace. Usually the woman leaves her matrimonial home to seek refuge with her parents. And a man leaves the home to co-habitat with the third-party.
However, not all extramarital affairs should be taken for granted. Some are genuine ones and they can be classified as follows:
Simple Love - Using sex and money as an ultimate reason for an EMA. This kind of affair may be temporary and can easily be "broken".
Classic Love - Where both parties know each other's problems and circumstances. They could be an ex-lover who is not married for some reason or another. Or a colleague who is deeply involved with subject. This group of lovers are willing to sacrifice anything including their family, wife, children, home, money and everything. This kind of relationship is complicated and is difficult to break them.
A spouse could easily identify an extramarital affair even at a very early stage if he/she is extra careful and alert.
But how can one check whether a spouse is having an affair? It's easy! Just lookout for tell-tale signs that one would usually see on their spouse who are having an Extra-Marital Affair (EMA)